I work in eldercare settings, but that doesn’t mean all of my clients love Frank Sinatra and Hank Williams. In fact recently, I’ve been learning a bunch of of songs from the 1970s, so I can have new ways to connect musically with people in their 50s and 60s, who might be caring for loved ones in their 80s and 90s or on hospice or long-term care services themselves.
One tool I’m using is The Grammy Awards Song of The Year 1970-1979. As the title suggests, this songbook includes all of the songs nominated for the Song of the Year during the 1970s. Does that mean these are the best songs to use in music therapy for people who were young in the 1970s? No. But it’s an excellent place to start an exploration.
The song that has struck me recently was a 1977 hit for Crystal Gayle: Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue. Written by Richard Leigh, this song has a jazzy piano line that probably helped it to become Gayle’s first and biggest crossover hit. This song reached #1 on the country charts and #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, and it won Gayle a 1978 Grammy Award for Best Female Country Vocal Performance.
There are a few things about this song that work really well for clinical and caregiving situations:
Sing-ability. Another fun fact? This song was recognized by ASCAP in 1999 as being one of the ten most-performed songs of the twentieth century. That means a lot of people are doing live cover versions of this song, and I bet that’s because its narrow range makes this song pretty easy to sing.
Honest feelings and unanswered questions. This song is about someone leaving and the person being left not quite understanding why. One thing is clear: the singer is sad and lonely and trying to cope with it all. Beyond that, though, there is plenty of room for interpretation about the details of what happened. The listener can put a lot of their own feelings and experiences into this song.
Simple, repetitive lyrics. When you’re dealing with difficult feelings, sometimes all you can do is say how bad it feels. The repetition of the line “don’t it make my brown eyes blue” underscores the sadness and loneliness, while making the song more singable, too.
That crossover appeal. Because this song was popular with country and pop music audiences, chances are a lot of people will be familiar with this song. That makes it a good one for opening a discussion about love and loss, or starting a deeper musical exploration.
Try This: Songwriting Experience
This song also works quite nicely for a simple fill-in-the-blank songwriting experience.
Especially for family caregivers, this song could be a great container for some of the difficulties you’re experiencing in your caregiving work. Try adding your own words to this framework:
I don’t know when I’ve been so blue
Don’t know what’s come over you
And don’t it make my brown eyes blue
I’ll be _______________ when you’re gone
I’ll just ____________ all night long
Say it isn’t true
And don’t it make my brown eyes blue
Tell me ________________ and tell me ___________
Give me ________________, give me _____________
Tell me you love me and don’t let me cry
Say _____________ but don’t say ________________
I didn’t mean ____________________
I didn’t know ____________________
But honey ______________________
And don’t it make my brown eyes
Don’t it make my brown eyes
Don’t it make my brown eyes blue
Some of those phrases sound just like what I’ve heard from people who are caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s Disease or other forms of dementia:
I don’t know what’s come over you.
… you love me.
… you know my name.
… I’m doing the right thing.
I didn’t mean…
… to make you upset.
… to leave you alone.
… to get so angry.
I didn’t know…
…it would be this hard.
…it would end like this.
…how scared I’d feel.
I think there is comfort in having our deepest thoughts and feelings expressed through music. Perhaps using the framework of this song can give you some comfort in expressing your own experience.
What do you think of this song? What lyrics would you fill in the blanks? Leave a comment below, and let us all know.
This post is part of an occasional series on special songs to share with your clients and loved ones. For more song spotlights, click here.